Pick Bunny’s Brainz

So all those thoughts were going through my head at lightspeed as all these weirdos in robes pinned me to the ground, and Lance towered over me with his evil-looking axe. And all I could think about was HELPMEHELPMEHELPME.

And then Lance was lifting the axe over his head, STILL looking all apologetic, and I HATED him, and then there was this crazy smashing sound from behind him, and he looked over his shoulder, and Misha and CeeCee were flying out of the library window, which was this hardcore barred window, and it just exloded out like nothing!

And they looked fantastic! The clay and polish all over their skin (and, I admit, the low lighting) made them look like amazon warriors in a Vogue photo shoot. OMG!

All the guys in robes must have been shocked as hell, because they let go of me and stood up right away, which was all I needed.

Misha got to eat CeeCee, but I’d been starving for pretty much ever.

The pink clouds descended, the humming started, and then I just let zombie Bunny take care of everything.

Misha is WAY easier to control as a zombie than Mr. Loughtree was. I can even let out of her room to come and do stuff with me, like blogging and tooning, and she’ll just follow along, and even kind of nod when I tell her to do stuff.

Sometimes after school, if it’s not too sunny, I go watch cheer practice, and today, I decided to bring Mish with me.

We hid behind the bleachers, and I told Misha to be still, but she kept trying to go out on the field. She probably misses cheering even more than I do.

So this one time when I have to go chasing after her, we get back, and guess who’s sitting in the bleachers watching practice?

Lance!

Can you even believe that?

Oh, but don’t worry, it gets worse.

After practice, he stands up and waves at Ceecee. She strolls over to him all like she’s so cool, but I could tell she was peeing her pants on the inside.

They talk for a minute, then next thing she’s crying and he’s opening his arms and they have this long HUG!

OMFG

I mean, my body is missing. As far as they know, I might not even be dead! I could be walking around somewhere with amnesia just hoping my best friend or boyfriend will find me…

And, okay, fine, maybe Lance wasn’t officially officially my boyfriend, but if I hadn’t died, who knows?

Then it hits me. Lance is the last person I remember seeing before waking up in the funeral home. Maybe he knows what happened to me or something.

I grabbed Misha’s hand and we snuck over to the bleachers where CeeCee and Lance were sitting – now he had his arm around her, and he says, “…so I should give you my number, if you ever want to talk about it or anything…”

And Ceec says, “It’s just so scary, you know? I mean, like, I could be next or something…”

And then Lance is all (gag, gag), “If you were my lady, I’d never let anything hurt you.”

And then they freakin’ kissed.

Then Lance takes her hand, writes his number down on her palm, and leaves her sitting there smiling to herself like she just won the lottery.

I wanted to throw up.

It’s like all of a sudden, I’m starting to think that Lance might be kind of a dick.

What I really, really wish is that I could show myself to somebody. Like, not just through tooned pics, but for reals.

I feel super alone, but every day the face I see in the mirror looks worse. Every day I have less hope of ever speaking to a normal human being again.

I’m at the point now where I’ve used up my entire makeup bag, I look hideous, and it doesn’t help that I’m a picker.

When I was alive, if I had even the tiniest zit, I’d pick pick pick at it to make it go away. It always just got worse, but I couldn’t help myself, y’know?

Now imagine transferring that OCD behavior to rotting flesh. It’s not pretty. In fact, it’s like, super gross.

The good news is that I have discovered an awesome new beauty product that should make me rich if this zombie thing ever blows over:

CHALK DUST!

Not only can I use it to pack into open sores, it makes great cover-up, especially if your skin is a bit…slimy.

And sure I look goth under all that white, but it’s actually a big improvement over looking like something from beyond the grave.

And that’s your undead chic beauty tip of the week!