Pick Bunny’s Brainz

It’s been a while since my last post, I know. Things have kind of fallen apart here in zombieland, so I don’t know if I’ll be able to write much more…

When I got back to the hideout on Halloween, it was a total shit-show. I’m still not sure what happened, because CeeCee and Misha won’t tell me ANYTHING, but it looked like there had been another meeting of the secret football club, this time with the zombie hunters, and Leland totally went after them.

There was fight, and they got Leland! Which is so horrible, because so far it hasn’t been like any of my friends have actually DIED, you know? There’s a big difference between dying and becoming a zombie!

So Leland was torn into, like, a million tiny pieces! And obviously he got some of them, because when I got there, the zombie hunters were busy chopping the heads off a bunch of zombies I’d never seen before.

CeeCee and Misha were hiding, grabbing bites to eat where they could, which is so like them. They always say they’re totally fasting, then they sneak food every chance they get! That’s why mom said they’d grow up to be total cows.

ANYWAY, the smell of blood was pretty overwhelming, so down came the pink mist and the humming. I remember calling the girls to get into the fight, and hearing them roar, and next thing I knew, we were racing down the tunnel, and there were zombie hunters running ahead of us, like we were chasing them, but also behind us, like some of them were chasing us!

I turned around, because I was like ‘eff this!’ and who almost chops me in half with an axe? Uncle Johnny!

I think he recognized me, though, because he hesitated, and said something that sounded like, “funny,” or “honey,” or maybe “Bunny.” Which gave me just enough time to rip his guts out. Sorry Uncle Johnny.

After that I felt really bad. I wrapped up his stomach with pieces of his robe so that he wouldn’t have his insides falling out when he woke up. All told, we ended up with three new zombies – Uncle Johnny, the Coach (!), and a second-string halfback with rich parents named Erik.

Obviously, we had to bail on the hideout, which sucks. The entire school was a write-off, so I had to herd all these stupid, STUPID zombies halfway across town until we found a Blockbuster that had been closed for a million years.

Since then, I’ve been dividing my time between trying to keep zombies from getting gout and eating people (moderate success), and finding the zombie hunter hideout (great success!). Turns out their main base of operations is the frat house on the university campus.

So now we’re going to war.

I hid in the library all day today so I could use the free computer and post this tonight. I really wanted to let you guys know what’s going on, because once I’m done posting this, I’m going to grab my people, and go fight. I need to find out what’s going on, why they did this to me, and what my dad had to do with all of it.

ALSO, I can’t let them keep trying to kill us.

ALSO, a zombie’s gotta eat, right?

I don’t know if any of us will make it back, and if we don’t, maybe it’s just meant to be, y’know?

So thanks for reading, and for keeping me company when I was the loneliest zombie on the planet. Hopefully I’ll post again, but if not, you’ll know what happened.

Bugs and kisses,

Bunny

(PS - Sorry no toons this time. My style is being slightly cramped, but if you liked my posts, and want to check out the app I used to make them, you can go here.

PS - All the images I did up with Toon-FX using regular pics, s’check it out!

Okay.

I painted my nails, played with toon-photo a bit, and did some Pranayama yoga, and I think I finally got this all straight in my head.

It seems like these brown robe guys are some kind of secret society of zombie hunters, right? Which means they’re into all this sci-fi stuff, which means maybe they know how to make zombies, right?

Sooooo, they definitely made me a zombie. I’m so sure of that now – but WHY?

Could it be because they had no one to hunt, because zombies, like, totally don’t exist?

Would they turn me into a zombie just to hunt me?

And more importantly - How could Lance do this to me?

Yeah, I know I’ve gotta get over him. I’m just really confused right now.

It’s hard to figure this stuff out, because it’s really easy to just zone out for hours and hours when you’re a zombie, and the next thing I know it’s night…

And at night now, I have to figure out how to get us out of this basement, and snoop around school trying to find a to a better hiding spot. The school was PISSED about the smashed library window, and now they’re CONVINCED there’s someone hiding in the school. And that it all has to do with the people disappearing.

Which is pretty smart of them, really, since they’re totally right!

They searched the basement again yesterday. With CeeCee onboard, it’s HARD to fit in to the tiny crawlspace.

AND I thought that after the fight, Misha and CeeC wouldn’t be trying to escape to eat and whatever, but they’re worse now!

We definitely need to relocate.

So all those thoughts were going through my head at lightspeed as all these weirdos in robes pinned me to the ground, and Lance towered over me with his evil-looking axe. And all I could think about was HELPMEHELPMEHELPME.

And then Lance was lifting the axe over his head, STILL looking all apologetic, and I HATED him, and then there was this crazy smashing sound from behind him, and he looked over his shoulder, and Misha and CeeCee were flying out of the library window, which was this hardcore barred window, and it just exloded out like nothing!

And they looked fantastic! The clay and polish all over their skin (and, I admit, the low lighting) made them look like amazon warriors in a Vogue photo shoot. OMG!

All the guys in robes must have been shocked as hell, because they let go of me and stood up right away, which was all I needed.

Misha got to eat CeeCee, but I’d been starving for pretty much ever.

The pink clouds descended, the humming started, and then I just let zombie Bunny take care of everything.

…is better than smelling like a zombie.

Back at school, the big question is: how do I stop myself (and Misha and CeeCee) from smelling like horrible rotting corpses?

It’s kind of a big deal. Even cartoon versions of me are starting to reek.

I’ve been messing around with stuff I can find around school. My first thought was to cover myself in nail lacquer, but the lacquer cracks when I move and it takes big chunks of me with it when it flakes off.

So then I tried to get myself to think like I was an esthetician at my fav spa. They always say that the best things for your skin come from the earth, and it’s totally true. I never feel better than after a day of mud baths and seaweed wraps.

After some trial and error, I’ve developed this formula:

Step 1:

- 1 part chalk dust from the teacher’s supply closet.
- 1 part Vaseline from the school nurse.
- 3 parts clay from the art room.

I mixed that up, and used it to cover all my problem areas. (There’s this one spot on my arm where you can see the bone. Yeah. Seriously.)

Step 2:

I needed something to incase myself in to stop the smell, but it had to be something that would let me move, like a natural hold hairspray for skin.

I was totally blank on ideas until it hit me like a bolt of lightening: wax!

With CeeCee to do the heavy lifting (LOL) I snuck a whole industrial-style bucket of floor wax out of the janitor’s supply shed!

I mixed the wax with a whole bottle of lavender essential oil, which I never would have used in real life, but I tried CeeCee’s Natural Vitality, and Misha’s Secret Obsession, and synthetic scents just didn’t cut it.

So now me and Misha and CeeCee have this nice, natural clay base, finished with a kind of gym floor polish/emo-hippy scent!

For zombies, we’re looking and smelling pretty freakin’ hot.

And that’s your Undead Chic Beauty Tip of the Week!

P.S. guys! I did this comic with Toon-FX, so don’t go thinking I’m some awesome artist or anything!