Pick Bunny’s Brainz

Misha is WAY easier to control as a zombie than Mr. Loughtree was. I can even let out of her room to come and do stuff with me, like blogging and tooning, and she’ll just follow along, and even kind of nod when I tell her to do stuff.

Sometimes after school, if it’s not too sunny, I go watch cheer practice, and today, I decided to bring Mish with me.

We hid behind the bleachers, and I told Misha to be still, but she kept trying to go out on the field. She probably misses cheering even more than I do.

So this one time when I have to go chasing after her, we get back, and guess who’s sitting in the bleachers watching practice?

Lance!

Can you even believe that?

Oh, but don’t worry, it gets worse.

After practice, he stands up and waves at Ceecee. She strolls over to him all like she’s so cool, but I could tell she was peeing her pants on the inside.

They talk for a minute, then next thing she’s crying and he’s opening his arms and they have this long HUG!

OMFG

I mean, my body is missing. As far as they know, I might not even be dead! I could be walking around somewhere with amnesia just hoping my best friend or boyfriend will find me…

And, okay, fine, maybe Lance wasn’t officially officially my boyfriend, but if I hadn’t died, who knows?

Then it hits me. Lance is the last person I remember seeing before waking up in the funeral home. Maybe he knows what happened to me or something.

I grabbed Misha’s hand and we snuck over to the bleachers where CeeCee and Lance were sitting – now he had his arm around her, and he says, “…so I should give you my number, if you ever want to talk about it or anything…”

And Ceec says, “It’s just so scary, you know? I mean, like, I could be next or something…”

And then Lance is all (gag, gag), “If you were my lady, I’d never let anything hurt you.”

And then they freakin’ kissed.

Then Lance takes her hand, writes his number down on her palm, and leaves her sitting there smiling to herself like she just won the lottery.

I wanted to throw up.

It’s like all of a sudden, I’m starting to think that Lance might be kind of a dick.

Still don’t remember how I became a zombie. The weekend was seriously weird. Everybody’s looking for Mr. Loughtree, and it was super hard to keep him locked up in the basement. He was making a lot of scary yelling sounds, and I was worried someone would hear.

So I went to move him to a different part of the basement, but suddenly he freaked out or something, pushed me down, and he - OMG - escaped!

And there’s security guards around the school at night now! It’s almost impossible to come up and look for him! Like my life isn’t complicated enough.

The worst part is that everyone thinks he just took off, because he committed another crime or something. Poor Mr. Loughtree! I wish I could tell them that none of this is his fault!

At least they haven’t found him yet. And I haven’t heard about him biting anyone or anything.

Maybe he will just disappear.

OK im going to say this really fast because its so awful and even just writing it makes me feel sick I turned on the light in the bathroom and looked in the mirror and my face was covered in all this makeup and my eyes which are brown were this glassy grey color and im going to scream but I realize I cant open my mouth and it is stiched shut and I didnt scream before in the coffin and that was probably why and there is goo coming out of my nose and then I notice this gross gooey blotch coming through my tank top right at my chest and I look down my shirt and theres wire going through my chest and I am CARVED OPEN

Iamdeadiamdeadiamdeadiamdeadiamdeadiamdeadiamdead

Sorry. I know I’m not dead. This is just super hard to write because I keep thinking I’m going to wake up or something, or maybe that I should go to the hospital or go home and talk to mom but she would FREAK OUT, and if I have some weird disease or something it’s going to ruin my life.

I don’t know what to do.

Update: I am obviously not a ghost. Because even though I can’t feel anything when I pinch my arm, I did push a computer off one of the lab tables, and it totally smashed, which I guess I’m going to get in sh*t for.

Sh*t.

So this might still be a dream, but maybe I’m sleepwalking or something? So if I write this down I’ll have, like, evidence, right?

Here goes.

I woke up, and I wasn’t in my room. I NEVER get those weird disoriented feelings, but I couldn’t remember how I got there, so I was like WTF? And the room was really dark but right away I knew I was in a freakin’ coffin!

A coffin.

Seriously.

I don’t know how I knew, but it was like bam! I’m in this box, and I can smell wood, and starchiness, and my head is on this little pillow that is not my pillow. AND also, next thing I notice is I’m wearing my cheerleading uniform, which I can feel even though I can’t see.

At first, I just felt totally frozen, and I was trying super hard to remember how I got there, but everything was one big blank. Then I thought, “OMG I’m in a coffin,” and then I’m scrambling out of there as fast as I freakin’ can, and I almost kill myself, because it’s pretty far off the ground, and then bam! I remember that I was on a date with Lance, so then I figure I probably got myself caught up in some weird sex thing.

So as much as I want to leave the funeral place, I decide to find a washroom first and make sure I’m not all a mess, right? Because one time at this party, this girl who is the total school slut but I won’t say her name but everybody knows who I’m talking about, went into this bedroom with TWO guys and came out with all this stuff on her face and she didn’t even know it! And she was trying to say they didn’t do anything!

So I go to the bathroom, which is right off the lobby, and turn on the light, because nobody’s in the building or they would have heard me fall out of the coffin, and I look in the mirror

So. I decided to just write this all down because sitting here in front of the computer is a lot better than walking around a bunch of dark hallways, feeling like a ghost or something.

OMG, am I a ghost???

Okay, I thought about it some more. And I decided this is probably one of those really intense dreams you supposedly have when you get roofied, or whatever. I guess Lance put roofies in my drink or something? Were we even drinking? I can’t remember!

I guess I’m finally starting this blog I was supposed to be working on all year for Mr. Van’s 21st Century Skills class. Except now I guess I won’t be going to 21st Century Skills anymore. Or any classes. Or cheerleading. Or doing anything. OMG!