Pick Bunny’s Brainz

So all those thoughts were going through my head at lightspeed as all these weirdos in robes pinned me to the ground, and Lance towered over me with his evil-looking axe. And all I could think about was HELPMEHELPMEHELPME.

And then Lance was lifting the axe over his head, STILL looking all apologetic, and I HATED him, and then there was this crazy smashing sound from behind him, and he looked over his shoulder, and Misha and CeeCee were flying out of the library window, which was this hardcore barred window, and it just exloded out like nothing!

And they looked fantastic! The clay and polish all over their skin (and, I admit, the low lighting) made them look like amazon warriors in a Vogue photo shoot. OMG!

All the guys in robes must have been shocked as hell, because they let go of me and stood up right away, which was all I needed.

Misha got to eat CeeCee, but I’d been starving for pretty much ever.

The pink clouds descended, the humming started, and then I just let zombie Bunny take care of everything.

And this one was seriously hard to turn into a comic!

Misha is WAY easier to control as a zombie than Mr. Loughtree was. I can even let out of her room to come and do stuff with me, like blogging and tooning, and she’ll just follow along, and even kind of nod when I tell her to do stuff.

Sometimes after school, if it’s not too sunny, I go watch cheer practice, and today, I decided to bring Mish with me.

We hid behind the bleachers, and I told Misha to be still, but she kept trying to go out on the field. She probably misses cheering even more than I do.

So this one time when I have to go chasing after her, we get back, and guess who’s sitting in the bleachers watching practice?

Lance!

Can you even believe that?

Oh, but don’t worry, it gets worse.

After practice, he stands up and waves at Ceecee. She strolls over to him all like she’s so cool, but I could tell she was peeing her pants on the inside.

They talk for a minute, then next thing she’s crying and he’s opening his arms and they have this long HUG!

OMFG

I mean, my body is missing. As far as they know, I might not even be dead! I could be walking around somewhere with amnesia just hoping my best friend or boyfriend will find me…

And, okay, fine, maybe Lance wasn’t officially officially my boyfriend, but if I hadn’t died, who knows?

Then it hits me. Lance is the last person I remember seeing before waking up in the funeral home. Maybe he knows what happened to me or something.

I grabbed Misha’s hand and we snuck over to the bleachers where CeeCee and Lance were sitting – now he had his arm around her, and he says, “…so I should give you my number, if you ever want to talk about it or anything…”

And Ceec says, “It’s just so scary, you know? I mean, like, I could be next or something…”

And then Lance is all (gag, gag), “If you were my lady, I’d never let anything hurt you.”

And then they freakin’ kissed.

Then Lance takes her hand, writes his number down on her palm, and leaves her sitting there smiling to herself like she just won the lottery.

I wanted to throw up.

It’s like all of a sudden, I’m starting to think that Lance might be kind of a dick.

When you’re a zombie, it’s hard to focus on important stuff. Like, all week, I’ve been telling myself to go find Mr. Loughtree, but then another night passes without me doing anything but reading celebrity gossip and figuring out how to use school supplies as makeup.

Actually, it’s kinda like life before I became all zombified.

Like life, except I’m even more paranoid about my hair and skin and eating habits than before, AAAANNNDDD like I said yesterday, I’m pretty lonely. Lonelier even than the summer I spent at the cabin with just grandma.

So I thought maybe I’d try to hook up with CeeCee and Misha. Or at least Misha, cause she’s way less judgy than Ceec. Maybe it’s the whole braindead thing, but I truly believe there’s no way anyone could expect me to be alone forever. I’m a pretty seriously social person, y’know?

Anyway, this is what I was thinking when I was waiting out behind the stadium seats for Misha after cheering practice. She always goes back there to sneak cigarettes, and it’s the only time you can really get her away from CeeCee.

So it’s dark, right, and she comes around and I whisper, “Misha!” And she was like “WTF?” and then she was like, “Bunny?” and I took a step towards her and then she screamed, and she was screaming and screaming and screaming, and I just wanted her to be QUIET.

At first I tried telling her to calm down but that made me realize that I’d never tried talking to anyone before. And what came out of my mouth wasn’t what I was thinking. It was more like a bunch of garbly sounds. And some black goo.

And then I wasn’t paying attention to Misha. I was thinking about how awful it was that I couldn’t talk.

And then all around me, the air turned hazy and pink, and there was this pretty humming…